Author Archives: CPstaffing

Top Perks of Working With a CP Staffing Recruiter

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I have previously discussed the facts and myths of working with a staffing agency, but the great thing about letting a recruiter help you in your career search is the amount of awesome perks that come along with it. Although many people will come across a staffing agency at some point in their career, a lot are hesitant to jump on board. However, I can give you at least five great pros for working with a great staffing agency, particularly CP Staffing Solutions, which will make you want to ditch the endless online job applications. 😉

  1. Delegation of job search.

    The greatest perk of working with our recruiters is that the recruiter works for you! Instead of you spending countless days and hours filling out online applications for a countless amount of jobs, we will do the job search for you – so you can relax! 😉 . Not only will we be aware of what you need and what you are looking for, but we also know what our client needs and what they want, so we can make sure that we link you with the right employer, on all accounts.

  2. Open door to hidden jobs.

    Perhaps equally as good as (or even better than) doing the job search for you is the fact that our recruiters have access to jobs that you would otherwise never find. Top employers hire employment agencies to find top talent, and so you might never see these top-quality jobs posted online. And so, while you’re pulling your hair out trying to find your dream job, you may be missing out on it because it’s actually hidden – with us!

  3. Untapped potential.

    Another great benefit of working with CP Staffing Solutions is that with over 125 combined years of recruiting experience, we know talent when we see it. We are able to pinpoint strengths and skills that fit a particular job, that you may not have even been aware of yourself. With our ability to recognize key skills and experience, we are able to introduce you to new career options that you may have not considered before.

  4. Coaching.

    What is a great staffing agency without that personal touch? The best part of CP Staffing (in my opinion and from my experience) is that our recruiters don’t throw you out on a limb; they prepare you for your interviews, making sure that you are your best professional self when meeting with your potential employer. How many times do you stay up tossing and turning the night before a big interview because you’re not sure of how prepared you are? CP Staffing recruiters make that preparation a lot easier, so you can get a good night sleep (we hope!). 🙂

  5. Salary negotiation.

    A big, and oftentimes uncomfortable, part of the hiring process is the salary negotiation. I used to get knots in my stomach just thinking about that whenever I knew that conversation was coming. We make this a whole lot easier for you due to our long standing relationships with our clients. While we will absolutely remain realistic with the salary expectations (which depend on your experience, skills, etc.) we are also able to get you the best negotiation for your salary, so you don’t feel like you have to throw up at the thought of this discussion.

Save yourself the trouble.

As you can see, you can save yourself a lot of headaches when you let us help you. Helping you find the best possible career fit is what we are here to do, and we love doing it! So, the next time you’re in the market and you’re looking for a more effective and efficient way to find a job, give us a call! We promise we won’t bite – we are here to help. 🙂

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By Nayadee Wilson

"Boundaries" by Sarah Zimmerman - Unearthed Comics

The Simple Step to Achieve Great Work-Life Balance

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Featured image: “Boundaries” by Sarah Zimmerman – Unearthed Comics

The issue of life and work balance is so common that you hear it being discussed all the time – you read articles about it, talk about it with your colleagues, with your family, so on and so on. It’s a struggle that many of us have, sometimes for a lot longer than we anticipate, and oftentimes we sort of give up on trying to fix it; we say “it is what it is,” or “I do what I have to do.” Meanwhile, we, as well as the people we care about, are unable to escape the consequences.

In reality, the step to achieve a good work-life balance is a lot simpler than we’d think, although simple does not mean easy. However, you’re going to find out that although it may sometimes be difficult to apply this step, it is well worth it in the long run. Not only will it keep you from going insane, but family and loved ones will be grateful for it too. So what’s the secret? Simple: setting Clear Boundaries.

I want to emphasize the word “clear” because a lot of times we say that we’re setting boundaries between our work and our personal life, but in reality we just put up a fort with bendy straws. Having clear boundaries means you have specifics; you set a specific line for yourself that you will not cross when it comes to your work interfering with your personal life at home, and vice versa. Sometimes we realize our need to do this too late, and we might end up telling a story similar to the one below:

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Shared story from Work it Daily

Becca Thomas mentioned how she “took back the ability to say ‘No’,” and while that is essentially what setting a boundary entails, for some of us simply saying “No.” is virtually impossible (at least for me it is). If you’re like me and have a relatively tough time saying “No.” to requests, there are other things you can do for yourself that make it easier to do so, like your time management.

When it comes to time management, there are a couple of ways you can go about it. For example, there are times when my husband has to do some work from home after a full day of work at the office. When this is the case, his boundary is to spend no more than 20 minutes working at home. You could also simply say “I will not work past 6:00pm,” and have that be your boundary instead.

These kinds of boundaries are clear, making them simple to follow, thus making them very effective. Are they easy to follow? Not always – there has been one or two times where Patrick goes a little over the 20 minute limit, but these are very rare occasions. The fact that the boundary has already been established makes it easier to be aware of how you’re handling your work-life balance, preventing you from going on a downward spiral of unbalance like Becca Thomas. Although, with stories like hers I would still argue that it’s better late than never, as you could see from her testimony this wouldn’t be a situation in which “fashionably late” is a good thing either.

So, what will your clear boundary be? Will it be “no working past 6pm”? No checking emails during dinner time? No more than 20 minutes working at home? Or maybe it’s “Thursdays are strictly family days – no phones, no emails”? Of course, it’s hard to decide to step away from your work at times, especially if your role is extremely involved in essential operations of a company. However, there are certain things that will always be more important, that also need your care and time – yourself being one of these. Having clear boundaries to maintain work-life balance will always work out in your favor, and you’ll also find that the business world will not fall apart when you decide not to be a 24/7 working robot. So have at it and take back the ability to say “No.” 🙂

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By Nayadee Wilson

Stop Wasting Your Talent

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I’m at the point in my journey where I’m questioning and thinking about what it is that I truly want to do with my life, and how can I get there. So far everything seems to be running smoothly, and all the pieces seem to be falling into place, but I’m still not certain of the image these pieces are forming; i.e. where my life is headed. Which leads me to the next question: What are my gifts? What are my talents?

Last week, one of our pastoral leaders at my church said this:

“Let’s say you’ve been planning for quite some time the perfect gift for someone you love. You’ve put a lot of thought, time, and maybe even a lot of money into it. The day comes when you see this person and you finally get to give him/her that very special gift – the one that you personally chose to fit him/her, because that’s how well you know this person. You finally gave that person your gift, and you’re ecstatic about it!

Then a month goes by, and you happen to come across that special gift that you gave to that special person. It’s sitting on a shelf, unopened, certainly not used, and collecting dust. Imagine the feeling you would have, knowing that after making that gift so very special for your loved one, that person didn’t really care for it.

That’s how God feels when you don’t use the gifts that He’s given you.“

Whether you believe in a God or not, I believe we can agree that most of us here on earth do feel that we’re alive for a reason and a purpose. We have certain gifts and talents that we were born with, or developed over time, that were meant to impact the world around us. Of course, some of the impacts we make are very small, while others are very big, but they are significant nonetheless.

From time to time we may think that we’re aware of our skills, and that we’re working towards our goals. However, especially when it comes to our careers, oftentimes we let our talents take a back-seat. We follow orders blindly and conform to just making ends meet, justifying our decision to leave our gifts unopened.

The truth is, that when you don’t use your talents you’re not only doing a disservice to humanity, but also to yourself; you were meant to use these! Why should you be stuck at a dead-end job, where your talents aren’t used to their full potential? Why should your gift sit on a shelf?  When searching for a job and taking steps to pursue your career, these steps should always be part of your life marathon, not your practice treadmill.

Maybe you’re taking solid steps in your career, but you still fell stuck. Perhaps the reason you’re in a career rut is because you honestly don’t know what you want to do – you don’t know what your gifts are. Well, that’s a common struggle, but there’s a way around that. You can ask yourself these three questions:

1. What did I want to do as kid?

2. What makes me come alive when I do it?

3. What opportunities have I been given? 

The third question is particularly useful because it’s one we don’t often think about. Maybe you don’t know what you’re passionate about, and maybe you no longer like what you loved as a child, but one thing may still help you: that thing in which you stand out to others. Was there ever a time when someone said to you: “Hey, have you thought about doing XYZ? I think you’d be really great at it!” This is your ticket to exploration. There may be a hidden talent that you didn’t know you had that might be what you were meant to do. You just have to take the opportunity to try it. And if it’s not your thing, then keep searching.

Not everyone believes that we all have a purpose, but even if you don’t believe so, that doesn’t mean you have to wander aimlessly in life ignoring your natural abilities; we can find our gifts and put them to good use. If you know what your talent is, don’t hesitate to use and perfect it – find the job/career/course that will use these to their full potential! If you don’t know what your gift is, then be diligent in searching for it – you can start a “hobby career” and move on from there 🙂 . But whatever you do, don’t waste your talents – they are valuable to the human kind!

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By Nayadee Wilson

**Featured Title Image: [MAYMA-tiiii♥♥♥......] by A♥**

Kicked Out of Disney World: A Less-Than-Perfect Family Vacation

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Featured Image: Disney World 2017 by canterbury

With the summer around the corner, kids getting out of school, and family vacations being planned, I figured it may be fun to share one of my favorite family vacation experiences. Although that trip was less than perfect, it’s one of my favorite memories because when I bring it up today, my family and I have a good laugh as we reminisce on our less-than-awesome ideas. Also, I’ve told this story on my favorite radio station before, and I ended up winning tickets to an event I no longer recall. So, let’s have a laugh and let me tell you a story – after all, it’s Fun Friday! 🙂

When I was about 12 years old one of my brothers was working as an intern at Disney World, in Florida. One of the perks of working there was that you could offer your family a one-day pass to a theme park of their choice (or maybe all the parks? I don’t know – it was a long time ago). So, one day my brother invites us (our mom, my brother and then sister-in-law, my little brother, and a family friend) to come to Disney World and have some fun. Of course, we packed our bags and headed over to the dreamlike place, duh!

Our first day at Disney was no less than magical – it was my first time and I was loving it! Although, my little brother didn’t want to get in any of the fun rides because he was “scared,” so we stuck to all the sissy ones – but that’s OK, I was just happy to be there. I took pictures with Goofy, got autographs from Mikey Mouse and Minnie Mouse, so it was going swell. How could anything possibly go wrong?

As it turns out, we didn’t get our “Disney fix” with just one day of fun; you need several days to fully enjoy the wonders of Disney, so we decided that we wanted to go again the next day and enjoy a different theme park. Here’s the problem: my brother was only allowed a one-day pass, so we would need to buy our tickets in order to continue our adventure. As most of you know, Disney is PRETTY expensive, so of course my ingenious older brothers had to come up with a way around that.

When it came to my mother, our friend, my little brother and myself, my mother said there was no way we were going to get into any shenanigans, so we purchased our tickets for day two (good woman, my mother 🙂 ). My older brothers, however, had a different perspective, and my poor brother’s wife was inevitably dragged into it. Since my Disney-employed brother had a few sets of uniforms, he figured that my brother and his then-wife could wear these uniforms and just go in the park as if they were employees. And it actually seemed like a fail-proof plan, so that’s what they did.

Many of you may or may not know that Disney has some very strict policies on employee apparel and appearance – they only allowed closed-toed shoes, and you had to be clean-shaved, just to name a few. This, however, was something my brothers seemed to have forgotten to take into consideration. So, as my non-Disney-employee brother begins to walk into the park through the employee entrance, he is wearing open-toed sandals, has a very noticeable 4-inch-long goatee, and to top it all off he smiles at the security camera and gives the peace sign as he casually walks on by. Wondering what happened next?

Needless to say, they were caught. While the rest of us were waiting for them inside the park, we received a call from my brother (the Disney intern) and he let us know that the plan failed. My brother and his wife were interrogated for like an hour, seeing as how the idea of this scheme was so bizarre that the security staff thought they might be terrorists. Eventually they were let go, although banned from going to Disney ever again (that’s what they were told, anyway). My brother, the intern, was fired from his job, but it was his last day anyway so he didn’t seem to be heavily affected >_<. As for the rest of us, I can’t remember if we were asked to leave due to association or if we just decided to leave due to the circumstances…? Either way – my second day at Disney was ruined!

After going through a big scare thinking that my brother was going to jail, I was relieved to find out that they were only kicked out and banned. Disney seemed to understand that they weren’t terrorists; they were just young and recklessly creative boys (to put it nicely). Things didn’t turn out as we expected, but we quickly started to laugh about it and how stupid it was to even think that was a good idea. In the end, we created a memorable story and had some good laughs, and I’ll be happy to tell the story to my children one day – when I know they will be wise enough not to try that themselves. This taught me that good times are not about the places you go to, or about having everything go perfect; it’s about the people you spend it with, and the memories you create. So go have some fun with your family and loved ones today, and make some great memories! Just don’t try to sneak into Disney; it will not go well.

Have a great weekend!

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By Nayadee Wilson

I Want To Be Like Them

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Featured image: “The National Guard” by Oklahoma National Guard

With Memorial Day coming upon us, I find myself getting into deep thought as I think about the men and women who lost their lives fighting for what they believed to be valuable. I have never known anyone who has died in battle, or anyone who’s lost someone in battle, so I don’t have any sort of emotional connection to this holiday. And if you’re in the same boat as me, have you ever stopped and just wondered what kind of people they must have been? The kind of impact they left? What their loved ones remember them by? This is what I’ve been pondering.

A little while ago I wrote about my husband’s grandmother who passed away, and the legacy she left behind. While considering the lives of those who died during their military service, it brings me back to the legacy topic. It makes me think about the kinds of things they left behind; the things they would be remembered by – even if I didn’t personally know them. Incidentally, with my mind going farther away by the minute, this makes me ask the question “how would I want to be remembered?” Even though I’ve never known them, I can think of a few things that these men and women would most likely be remembered as, and character traits that I would also want to strive for in my own life.

  1. Courageous.
    It doesn’t take a lot of thinking to know that these people had guts. It takes a special kind of someone to go into a task knowing that the outcome could be deadly. Yet, that did not stop them. They had the kind of courage that most of us dream of having, sometimes for just the tiniest situations. I will admit I do not consider myself a courageous person; I certainly lack some skill in this department. But, to have the kind of courage that these individuals had is honorable and, like them, I also want to strive to be courageous and be remembered as such.
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  2. Giving.
    I consider this another “no-brainer” kind of trait for all those who gave their lives in service. These people literally sacrificed themselves for the benefit of others. Now there’s a word we don’t put to practical use very often: sacrifice. Our human nature is to strive for comfort, and our inclination is often towards the easy way of doing things. But, these people disciplined themselves to put others first; to do what may be harder for them in order to make it easier for others. Although I am not in military service, I like to think that I am in the service of people; I love to do volunteer work when possible (even if sometimes I complain about the actual work). Like them, I want to be remembered as giving and generous, and strive to help those in need by giving what I can.
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  3. Wise.
    As previously stated, our human nature is to favor the easy way in most situations, even if it ultimately makes things harder for us. Sometimes it takes an incredible amount of maturity and wisdom to look ahead and opt for the right decision, which can sometimes mean the harder way. Although they met a deadly fate, these men and women were wise enough to know what was important, and wise enough to follow through with their values. They teach us what it’s like to make the tough choices, even when we may not want to. With their discipline and never-ending devotion they also teach us that the wisdom tank will never be full; there will always be more room to learn and more room to grow. And so, just like King Solomon, and like these men and women, one of the things I want most in the world is wisdom.
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  4. Purposeful.
    Last, but certainly not least, my favorite trait that I find in these great men and women is purpose. These warriors had a purpose in their life, and they followed it all the way to the end. These men and women served a great purpose that maybe none of us will ever truly understand, and it is admirable to see how dedicated they were to fulfilling it. Some people know what their purpose is in life, while some may be in the process of finding it, but all of us have a purpose, nonetheless. As for me, I’ve come to know my purpose in my faith, and that part of that purpose is to strive to shine the light within the many dark places of this world in any way that I can. Like them, I want to be remembered as someone who fulfilled her purpose.

Live like them.

Many of us will never know what these soldiers went through, and many can’t even imagine it. Nevertheless, they left a great example for us to follow when it comes to being honorable human beings. The men and women who lost their lives in service did so while showing us how to be giving, courageous, wise, and purposeful. While you celebrate Memorial Day this weekend, consider all they had to teach us, and honor them in living out those teachings as best as you can. Have a happy Memorial Day! 🙂

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By Nayadee Wilson

All Hail the Buddy System

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Featured image: Sisters Holding Hands After Kids Race, by Alexander Knoch

When I was little, I never really participated in any sort of buddy system (that I can remember). I spent most of my childhood in the Dominican Republic, so my education was a little different. I have, however, heard of the childhood buddy system through friends and what not, but I never really thought much of it. Two weeks ago, I was attending a group teaching at my church that talked about the need of having an “accountability partner” – which is basically the adult version of the buddy system.

As the discussion begins and we all speak up about our experiences, I begin to take a whole new perspective on the importance and the benefits of incorporating the buddy system into our lives – both personal and professional. There are several reasons why we should be using this underappreciated tool to its full potential. Even if you hated having to hold your buddy’s hand during a field trip, you may be surprised to find the kind of impact that “hand-holding” can have. 🙂

  1. My buddy has to find me, and I have to find my buddy.
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    The great, yet dreadful, thing about having an accountability partner – which I will refer to as “buddy” throughout this blog – is that it forces us to be responsible and accountable for our actions. Having a buddy means you’re letting that person in to the messy closet that you don’t let anyone see when they come over to your place. (I wish I could say I just thought of that analogy, but I actually heard it from one of our teachers 🙂 ). When this is the case, you truly do think twice about making decisions that you will later have to talk about with your buddy. Being held accountable forces you to take more steps in the right direction, following the natural, human fear of avoiding “shame” and embarrassment that come out of making the wrong ones.
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  2. My buddy and I share the same road.
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    What’s greatly beneficial about having a buddy is that you can always find someone that has shared/is sharing your journey; someone who can relate to you. I was reading an article called “Why you need a mentor, and how to find one to advance your career,” which makes excellent points on the need for a mentor. A mentor can be a somewhat less “invasive” kind of buddy – one that has most likely walked your current career path and can hence guide you in the right direction. When your buddy has gone/is going through a similar situation as yours, it makes it a lot easier for you (or both of you!) to navigate through it. Although the phrase “misery loves company” isn’t a favorite, in this sense it’s a good thing; the added support can make a world of difference and keep you from falling into holes down the road!
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  3. My buddy has a mirror.

    Can you believe that most humans suffer from a lack of self-awareness? Not me!  – Kidding; oftentimes I, too, need a good reality check >_<. But, as you can see, another benefit of having a buddy is that they’re able to see what you can’t – yourself. They can look at your situation from the outside in, and give you the perspective you may be lacking. One of the amazing things that I saw during our group teaching was the amount of people that were simply coming forth about something they needed to change in themselves, and how having a buddy to (lovingly) point this out made it that much easier to act on it. Of course, this is not to say you need to start confessing your problems to a big crowd; these people did that out of choice and support for others. However, do try to find someone you can trust to let into your messy closet/office.
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  4. A bad buddy can make us get lost.

    Last, but not least, my favorite thing to keep in mind when choosing a buddy is this: bad company corrupts good character. One thing that someone pointed out during our group study was that you want an accountability partner who will tell you the right things, not point you towards destruction. It really does you no good to get an accountability partner that will not actually hold you accountable when you need to be – that would be pointless and dangerous. When choosing a buddy, choose one that you know to be wise, has your best interest in mind, and is not afraid of telling you the truth (in a loving way). If you’re not sure how to tell, this is where reading and research comes in: if your mentor gave you career advice, what is that advice based on? What were the results in the past? What else supports that kind of advice?Finally, in terms of your personal life, you may want to choose someone other than your spouse or partner (making sure that this someone does not present a threat to your relationship), because you may be biased when having tough conversations. What happens when the issue is about your relationship? Don’t choose your wife/husband/bf/gf as your buddy; it might not end well.

It’s OK to hold hands.

Sometimes we want to do everything by ourselves and prove to the world that we can. For some reason, we’re either afraid or too proud to ask for help or guidance. However, doing everything alone can also hinder our success, and oftentimes even lead us to failure – with no one to tell us where we’re headed. As you can see, many times, two will be better than one. Give the buddy system a try! And, if nothing else, you could just make some great friends and connections in the process – they can always be a beacon of light. 🙂

 

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Beacon of Light by Sara Zimmerman – Unearthed Comics

 

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By Nayadee Wilson

 

 

 

Screenshot taken by Nayadee Wilson from YouTube.

Why You Should Listen to Ron Swanson

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If you’ve never watched Parks and Recreation, let me tell you that you’re missing out on a major treat and should definitely put it on your watch list. Parks and Rec is a documentary style, political comedy about a group of local government employees (within the parks and recreation department) in the fictional town of Pawnee, Indiana. Some of the major characters in the show are Leslie Knope, a passionate and strong-minded woman who is determined to make Pawnee a better place, and Ron Swanson, a simple, straight-to-the-point libertarian who could care less for the government, yet is the director of the Parks and Rec department. Ron is one of my favorite characters because, 1. It’s impossible not to laugh with him, 2. Throughout the show he actually provides great, useful advice to basically everyone, and 3. His quotes are the best.

In episode 16 of season 4 (Sweet Sixteen), Leslie is trying to manage her campaign for city council while also handling her deputy director job in the Parks department. Ron keeps insisting that she take a leave of absence and focus on one thing at a time, but determined Leslie refuses to do so. Why am I writing about this? Well, because if I had a quarter for every time a job seeker said “I’m great at multitasking,” or every time an employer stated “We need a candidate with the ability to multitask,” I probably could have paid off my house by now. Episode 16 of Parks and Rec can teach all of us an often overlooked truth: multitasking isn’t all it’s cracked up to be; it’s actually not the “greatest” skill of all.

  1. Leslie had super powers. Which were fake.

    Leslie believes she can do it all. And, frankly, she’s usually very good at accomplishing what she wants. Nonetheless, during this episode, where she attempts to use her “I-am-Leslie-Knope” multitasking powers, she fails to see how they aren’t working when things begin to fall apart. As Ron begins to take notice, he immediately advises her to “take a sabbatical.” When Leslie ignores his advice, Ron decides to keep an eye on her while being amused by her mishaps, waiting for her to figure out on her own that she’s overworked.

    Like Leslie, most of us who pride ourselves on being great at multitasking believe that we can do it all. However, research shows that our productivity actually goes down by as much as 40%, and we get a lot less done. So, if you’re like Leslie and have tricked yourself into thinking you’re Superman or Superwoman, this serves to show that you should probably just listen to Ron Swanson.

  2. Leslie was in control. Of nothing; she was in control of nothing.
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    Leslie was so used to tackling a million things at once that this was a no biggie for her. She had been multitasking for so long that she was great at it, and had everything under control – except, she didn’t. While Leslie tries to manage her job and her campaign at the same time, she eventually loses control of her situations and mentally crashes (she ends up falling asleep during the surprise party that she was throwing for her coworker, Jerry). 

    The reality is that we don’t actually multitask, we just switch from one task to another – some can just do this quicker than others. When this happens, we become less competent in what we are trying to achieve – and the more we do it the worse it gets. “Practice makes perfect” doesn’t actually work in this case, no matter how badly we want to believe that it does. If you find yourself losing control while trying to do it all, then you should probably listen to Ron Swanson.
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  3. Leslie dropped the ball. More than once. More than twice.
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    In the episode of “Sweet Sixteen,” Leslie made mistakes. A lot of them. For example, Leslie is always very caring about her coworkers, and never misses their birthdays. But, this time she forgets Jerry’s birthday and attempts to throw him a belated “sweet 16” party (he’s 64, but his birthday is on February 29th so she reasons that he’s only had 16 actual birthdays). She then forgets to invite Jerry. She also forgets to pick up the cake. In the meantime, she realizes that they’ve also messed up her campaign signs, so she rushes back to the printer to have them fixed, and then replaces every single sign in Pawnee herself. They finally make it to the party sometime in the middle of the night, waking everyone up, and she then falls asleep on the couch, on top of Jerry. 

    What happened to Leslie is far from unusual; we actually suffer a fall in IQ when we become distracted by multiple things (which can be the same impact as losing a night of sleep). As it often seems to happen with most of us, while Leslie is usually on top of her game, everything came crashing down when she attempted to do it all – she should have just listened to Ron in the first place.

Listen To Ron Swanson

The next morning, Ron takes Leslie out by the lake and has a talk with her, finally convincing her to take a leave of absence. It was this sole moment in the entire episode that made me want to write about it, and it is one my favorite Ron Swanson quotes as of yet (depending on what else he says – I’ve recently discovered this show, so I’m a little behind). Like many of Ron Swanson’s quotes, what he said to her was simple, to the point, and had a sense of eloquence. The reality is that when we give our attention and focus to one thing at a time, the results are usually ten times better than what they would be otherwise. So, the next time you’re in a multitasking nightmare, you should just take a deep breath, and listen to Ron Swanson: “Never half-butt two things. Whole-butt one thing.” Of course, his actual quote is slightly jazzier than how I put it:

The-best-quotes-by-Ron-Swanson - from Thumbpress
For some of Ron’s funniest quotes, go here. And to tap into some Ron Swanson wisdom, check this out.

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By Nayadee Wilson

I Broke Up With Facebook Like, a Month Ago; We’re Just Friends Now.

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It started off like any other relationship; at first, I loved Facebook, and Facebook loved me. I loved connecting with family and friends that were far away, sharing my thoughts, pictures, and adventure tales with all. But then, also like many relationships, it became toxic and destructive. All of the sudden there was drama everywhere, arguments that came out of the blue, and ultimately I was beginning to feel depressed anytime I was on Facebook – and much of the negativity was starting to rub off on me. The break-up phase slowly started with me just hitting the “hide post” button on statuses that I would find upsetting – which was great, because Facebook eventually got the hint that I didn’t want to see those kinds of things anymore, and so these statuses got to be fewer and fewer by the day. Then, it continued on with me clicking the “unfollow” button when I thought a connection was just… not my style. Finally, something made me decide that I really needed to break it off.

According to an article I read, addiction to technology is not a figure of speech – it’s an actual addiction. In fact, it talked about how in the midst of technology use, the brain of someone who is addicted to it looks just like that of a substance abuser. Other studies also show a strong correlation between the use of social media and depression, as well as anxiety and overall well-being. This addiction also affects your performance at work, your focus, and your personal relationships. After reading and relating to these findings, I thought it’d be a good idea to lay off the social media for a while (my only personal social media pages are Facebook and LinkedIn), and here’s what happened.

Week 1

The first week was tough; I still had to go on Facebook for work purposes – to post the company blogs I write, engage with the company Facebook page content, etc. – but I stayed off my news-feed and steered away from personal notifications. I was like an alcoholic working at a bar – working with the substance but not able to drink it. Still, I was determined. It became really tough when I went home, since I didn’t know what to do with my phone – most of what I used to do on my phone was browse through my Facebook news-feed. I found myself going back and forth on my phone, hitting my home button several times, locking and unlocking the screen for no reason, until eventually (after about 2 minutes of this behavior) I’d put the phone down and go do something else. I’d do this at least three times after I’d get home from work (and I have kids! O_O). That’s when I thought, “Wow, this really must be a problem.” So I was even more determined to stay off the ‘book.

Week 2

The second week was not much different than the first week. I was still struggling and fidgeting with my phone all the time, barely managing to stay off Facebook, but I observed a few things – some good, some bad. I noticed I was a little more agitated than usual; getting annoyed by the smallest things. Meanwhile, in the back of my mind, I’d find myself thinking of two to three-sentence summaries of what I could post on my status of whatever was currently annoying me – or, at other times, whatever was making me happy. Then it hit me: “could this be what withdrawal feels like? Oh my… I have a problem.” This realization gave me the motivation I needed to focus my attention on other things. I started to read more books (not just online articles), I was praying more, and I was being more productive around the home. Nothing crazy; I didn’t make a complete 180-degree behavioral change. However, I was making small, significant changes; noticeable changes. Still, although on the one hand I felt significantly less depressed, on the other hand I felt out of place and anxious because I couldn’t go on the site that I’ve been going on for years, on a daily basis.

Week 3

This was the week I noticed some of my habits changing. A prominent one was how I was obtaining information on current events – I became a little smarter in how I searched for news. If I saw a headline that read “Maria wore a red shirt on Wednesday, March 29th,” I’d recognize this as a news report. However, if I saw a headline that read “Maria wore a shirt on Wednesday which was a color that represented blood – does she want everyone in the world dead?” I’d recognize this as a formed opinion of the writer (and of course, we all know how many of these we see on social media). So, I learned to obtain more reliable information. Additionally, I was no longer checking my phone as soon as I woke up (thank God!) other than to just turn off my alarm. I also slowly became more involved with my husband and kids – I was playing more, I was aware of new things they were doing, etc. Although I did become a tad clingier with my husband, it was still good :).  I did respond to a message and maybe a few comments on my personal Facebook this week (outside of my blogs), but I was able to close it right up as soon as I did those couple of things – no news-feed, no picture posting (other than the ones I’ve been tagged on), and no status update; just off.

Week 4

This is the week where my anxiety was almost gone (I am currently on week five, almost six). I no longer felt like I was “missing something” because I wasn’t on Facebook. I actually met with friends in person, I was volunteering more, I was making new friends, and I was actually a part of society as opposed to just observing it. It felt (and feels) great! This was the week where I truly realized I don’t need social media. This time around I decided to give myself “permission” to go on Facebook – but I just didn’t really want to. I went on to see a cute little video my mother-in-law made of my son, I commented on it, loved it, and that was it. However, as much as I loved the positives of this break-up process, I also became aware of some negatives. Remember the part where I said I became a little clingier with the hubby? Yeah, well, by going through the “social media withdrawal” and the anxiety that came along with the process, I became a little more demanding, and found myself getting angry or upset expecting poor Patrick to substitute my need for social media with 24/7 of his attention to just me. I also found that I was very, very subtly substituting my Facebook addiction on my own with something else – I found a new shopping app that I started to spend up to 45 minutes on, even if I didn’t buy anything; I just needed something to look at. But, fear not! – it didn’t take long for me to recognize what was happening, and since then I’ve learned to do my best to stop this behavior as soon as I’m aware of it; I was back on track ;).

Results

Like with any toxic relationship, breaking up takes hard work and a lot of determination. The lingering ex will come knocking at your door (or your phone), begging for another chance or giving you the “sweet talk,” making you fall for it every so often. Then, once you’ve firmly decided to move on, you push through the crying nights, push through self-debates of whether you should go back or not, realizing after a long while that you’re finally over it – you could actually have a conversation with your ex and be OK.

Yeah, it was a little tough (still is) getting through the motions of detaching from social media, and I hit some road bumps along the way, but the benefits of setting yourself free are incredibly worth it! I can now go on Facebook without feeling the need to spend an hour on it or to go on it daily. Social media addiction is a bigger problem than you think, and it wasn’t until I decided to cut back that I realized just how bad it can be. After experiencing the rewards of staying off the screen, becoming more involved in my community and with my family, I can honestly say that I recommend this 100% to anyone who is willing to make a change for the better. It’s a bumpy ride, but it’s worth getting through it. So don’t be afraid of letting go; go ahead and unplug. I’m sure that after a break-up any loved one would tell you the same thing I told myself: “You deserve better – it’s time to get out there!” 😉 

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By Nayadee Wilson

Maybe You Should Just Start Showing Up

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*Featured image: Delana Flowers (far right and front) during a performance in 2015*

I think that the greatest talent that humanity has is making excuses, and the greatest impediment to our goals is actually having these said excuses. However, a lot of us have been able to get around those impediments and work toward our goals anyway. Some of us have come to a place in our lives where we tell ourselves, “So, I can’t do this… but I’m going to do it anyway and see what happens.” Woody Allen once said “80% of success is showing up,” and I can’t think of a better example of this notion than our very own Delana Flowers, who starred as Lorrell in the musical, Dreamgirls, at Pittsburgh Musical Theater this past week.

Delana Flowers, our awesome admin at FinancialPeople Staffing in Pittsburgh, has an incredible preforming talent, and some pretty amazing pipes – the girl can sing! As we all began to talk about her show around the office, I asked Delana to tell me more about her performing side. As it turns out, most of Delana’s performing success all started with her decision to simply show up to things she didn’t even intend to take part in. As she went on to tell me her story, something she said immediately stood out to me:

“I moved to Pittsburgh where there was plenty of Community Theater. I got involved almost immediately, but totally by accident, after being dragged to a rehearsal supposedly to observe. From then on, God continued to open doors for me.”

Delana went to a rehearsal just to “observe,” and out of this no-biggie attendance to something she wasn’t even a part of, she began to be involved in the things she was passionate about. What’s interesting is how she stated that she was “dragged” to this rehearsal, so it doesn’t look like her heart was necessarily set on going to this – but she went anyway. So, what happened? Well, she showed up, which led to her being cast in Ain’t Misbehavin in 2008, she was cast as Dinah Washington in 2015 (a show with 25 plus songs she had to learn from scratch), she was cast in JH: Mechanics of a Legend, and, in Delana’s own words, she “did more community shows than I can count at this point.”

The story of attending that rehearsal alone demonstrates the power of showing up, but it doesn’t end there. To land her role as Lorrell in Dreamgirls, Delana had some more showing-up to do. Not only did she have to show up, but she had to do what most of us dread: wait (Ugh! – right?). This is what she had to say about her audition for Dreamgirls:

“I saw an ad for a regional theater holding auditions for Dreamgirls. I wasn’t going to go because I didn’t feel like I knew how to audition on a professional level. My leading man in John Henry pushed me to go. He told me I had nothing to lose. I was nervous, but I went. They called me back 3 times and a whole month went by before I heard anything. Meanwhile, my co-star who pushed me to go to the audition found out in a matter of days that he had been cast. Finally, the call came and rehearsals were to start a week later.”

I’m sure we can all empathize with Delana in one way or another, like being a nervous wreck before an interview, doubting yourself, waiting for that call afterwards to know whether or not you got the job – just to mention a few. Nevertheless, she hung in there, she showed up, and boy did it pay off! Of course, this is not to say that all you need to do is just “be there,” Delana also talks about the hard work that came afterwards:

“I walked into a room full of actors and dancers… with musical theater degrees, music and/or dance degrees and classical training. I came with none of these things! We had a 3 week rehearsal process to put up this Broadway level show. If you added up the rehearsal hours which were typically 8 hours a day, it amounted to about a week and a half. It felt like boot camp! …This was my first professional show and my first show at one of the big theaters downtown. I was terrified and I had several meltdowns along the way.”

Finally, with heartwarming joy, Delana ended her story with this:

“I made wonderful new friends who refused to let me doubt myself. They worked tirelessly with me to learn everything I needed to learn. This was the hardest and biggest thing I have ever done. All I could do was keep showing up, keep working, and cry when overwhelmed. By the time we closed the show last Sunday, I couldn’t believe I had been part of such a spectacular show. It was an absolutely amazing experience I will never forget.”

Needless to say, working toward your goals will most definitely require hard work, but the hard work will never get started unless you start showing up – like Delana did. There will always be times in which the possibilities we dream of seem almost unattainable, where we will doubt ourselves, have meltdowns, and wonder if that small step will even be worth it. Well, Delana’s success story raises two very important questions that we should always keep in mind: How many doors could be opened for you, if you simply show up? How many doors will you continue to miss? Maybe you should just start showing up. 😉 

Check out some clips of Delana’s performance!:

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By Nayadee Wilson

Living Long After We’ve Died

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Last month, our family encountered a deep loss when my husband’s grandmother, Marian F. Wilson, passed away at the age of 94. Although I never had a chance to know her, since she was severely affected by Alzheimer’s by the time I came into the family, I couldn’t help but be moved by everything everyone had to say about her during the funeral. This, along with a message series we’ve been coincidentally studying at my church, got me thinking: our life on this earth is not over once we die. It wasn’t until this funeral that I truly resonated with the significance of this concept. There is something incredibly genuine that comes with our death, and that is the impact of our legacy.

16999059_1520263557991918_1954582548492505593_n_zpsfw5bktgqI’ve got my job.

This lovely lady had what some may call one of the best and most honorable jobs in the country: she was a U.S. Marine (a WWII veteran, to be exact). Needless to say, this wasn’t the kind of profession that you’d nonchalantly refer to as a “job.” This was different; this was a calling and devotion. Even still, as prestigious as this profession was, it was interesting to see how every person that spoke about her didn’t really mention much about what she did while she served, but rather the areas of her character that were simply shaped by her service. We heard wonderful stories of how she raised her children, the values that she instituted in her family, and the adversities that she had to overcome as a single mother when her husband died unexpectedly. And to top it all off, the one and only thing I remember anyone saying about her regular, non-military job was: “she worked at the store.”

Oftentimes we become so indulged and submerged in our jobs and career paths, buying into the lie that what we do for a living is our identity that it makes us forget about what really matters. Your job, no matter how amazing, should not be your identity. The reality is that no one at your funeral will remember you as “John the accountant” – at least, not the ones who truly get to know you. So, take some time to disconnect from your “job” and invest time in those you love. Start building your legacy with the people and things that matter most.

img_4208_zpsq1mzxgvjI’ve got my things.

As the eulogies kept coming, greater and funnier stories kept being told. All of those stories were about her car, how big her house was, and all the wonderful things she had. I’m kidding – they were about none of that. Nope; Mrs. Wilson didn’t exactly have what would be classified as a glamorous life. As a matter of fact, the only thing I remember on this topic is someone saying “we grew up poor.” But man, was her life rich. The stories about Mrs. Wilson and her dedication to her family and loved ones just kept pouring, and laughter amidst mourning filled the entire room. The stories of her chasing after my father-in-law as a kid were especially funny (of course, Ken, my father-in-law, clarified that his mischiefs were only a result of his older brother’s leadership). 🙂

No one talked about this lady’s possessions, or her money, or the things she had. Yet so often we become so incredibly stressed, drowning in debt due to buying things we can’t afford. Here’s another reality: those things will not go to the grave with you. Your possessions and your money ultimately do not define you, and these should also not be your identity. So why not take some time to de-clutter? Or make a plan to get out of debt? I doubt that you’d want your legacy to be “John, the one with lots of stuff.”

img_4203_zpsvkjou3kgI’ve got my looks.

Marian Wilson was as beautiful as an angel. During the wake, the place was filled with old pictures from her earlier years. I remember looking at every single one and being amazed, mainly because her husband could have been my husband Patrick’s twin, but also because she truly was beautiful. As great as she looked, no one talked about her looks, either. I remember someone telling the story of asking Mrs. Wilson, “Grandma, how come you won’t get married again?” to which she comically responded: “What kind of man do you think would be so out of his mind to take on a woman with six kids?”

Yup, Mrs. Wilson was full of personality that went beyond her looks. Then I thought, how often do I spend endless minutes trying to get the perfect selfie? We’ve become such a surface-level society where appearances have become the center by which we rotate, that we are slowly being consumed by it. I was reading an article today about a young lady who was sent home during an interview due to her outfit. Although I do believe she was wrongly judged and shouldn’t have gone through that experience, I was really disappointed by something she said: “I realize that my appearance is who I am.” There is so much more to our legacy than our looks; your appearance is not your identity. So how about you take a day off from having the perfect look, and maybe just go serve someone in need?

img_4206_zpsmfmwdaysI’ve got my kids.

“So if it’s not my job, my things, or my looks, then I guess my legacy is in my kids?” Well, I’m not so sure about that. Mrs. Wilson had six kids all together, all of whom grew up to be wonderful people. Yet, I wouldn’t call them her legacy directly. When it came to the topic of her children, most of what I heard about this woman had to do with everything she had taught them. Her children didn’t become her legacy; the things she taught them did. Her kids didn’t represent who she was; their morals did. Her kids didn’t show the world around them what she was about; their values did. While her children may not be her legacy, her children will carry it out long after she’s left them.

Our lives truly do continue to speak to the world long after we’ve gone. And so, I stop today and think: “What am I teaching my children? Where am I leading them? What values am I imprinting in their lives? What am I imprinting in others’ lives? How well am I loving my husband?” Our legacy will continue to speak to the world, whether it’s a good one, or a not so great one. Take some time to reflect on your life, and ask yourself “what will be my legacy?”

In loving memory of Marian F. Wilson

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by Nayadee Wilson