Featured image: Sisters Holding Hands After Kids Race, by Alexander Knoch

When I was little, I never really participated in any sort of buddy system (that I can remember). I spent most of my childhood in the Dominican Republic, so my education was a little different. I have, however, heard of the childhood buddy system through friends and what not, but I never really thought much of it. Two weeks ago, I was attending a group teaching at my church that talked about the need of having an “accountability partner” – which is basically the adult version of the buddy system.

As the discussion begins and we all speak up about our experiences, I begin to take a whole new perspective on the importance and the benefits of incorporating the buddy system into our lives – both personal and professional. There are several reasons why we should be using this underappreciated tool to its full potential. Even if you hated having to hold your buddy’s hand during a field trip, you may be surprised to find the kind of impact that “hand-holding” can have. 🙂

1. My buddy has to find me, and I have to find my buddy.
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   The great, yet dreadful, thing about having an accountability partner – which I will refer to as “buddy” throughout this blog – is that it forces us to be responsible and accountable for our actions. Having a buddy means you’re letting that person in to the messy closet that you don’t let anyone see when they come over to your place. (I wish I could say I just thought of that analogy, but I actually heard it from one of our teachers 🙂 ). When this is the case, you truly do think twice about making decisions that you will later have to talk about with your buddy. Being held accountable forces you to take more steps in the right direction, following the natural, human fear of avoiding “shame” and embarrassment that come out of making the wrong ones.
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2. My buddy and I share the same road.
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   What’s greatly beneficial about having a buddy is that you can always find someone that has shared/is sharing your journey; someone who can relate to you. I was reading an article called “Why you need a mentor, and how to find one to advance your career,” which makes excellent points on the need for a mentor. A mentor can be a somewhat less “invasive” kind of buddy – one that has most likely walked your current career path and can hence guide you in the right direction. When your buddy has gone/is going through a similar situation as yours, it makes it a lot easier for you (or both of you!) to navigate through it. Although the phrase “misery loves company” isn’t a favorite, in this sense it’s a good thing; the added support can make a world of difference and keep you from falling into holes down the road!
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3. My buddy has a mirror.
   
   Can you believe that most humans suffer from a lack of self-awareness? Not me!  – Kidding; oftentimes I, too, need a good reality check >_<. But, as you can see, another benefit of having a buddy is that they’re able to see what you can’t – yourself. They can look at your situation from the outside in, and give you the perspective you may be lacking. One of the amazing things that I saw during our group teaching was the amount of people that were simply coming forth about something they needed to change in themselves, and how having a buddy to (lovingly) point this out made it that much easier to act on it. Of course, this is not to say you need to start confessing your problems to a big crowd; these people did that out of choice and support for others. However, do try to find someone you can trust to let into your messy closet/office.
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4. A bad buddy can make us get lost.
   
   Last, but not least, my favorite thing to keep in mind when choosing a buddy is this: bad company corrupts good character. One thing that someone pointed out during our group study was that you want an accountability partner who will tell you the right things, not point you towards destruction. It really does you no good to get an accountability partner that will not actually hold you accountable when you need to be – that would be pointless and dangerous. When choosing a buddy, choose one that you know to be wise, has your best interest in mind, and is not afraid of telling you the truth (in a loving way). If you’re not sure how to tell, this is where reading and research comes in: if your mentor gave you career advice, what is that advice based on? What were the results in the past? What else supports that kind of advice?Finally, in terms of your personal life, you may want to choose someone other than your spouse or partner (making sure that this someone does not present a threat to your relationship), because you may be biased when having tough conversations. What happens when the issue is about your relationship? Don’t choose your wife/husband/bf/gf as your buddy; it might not end well.

It’s OK to hold hands.

Sometimes we want to do everything by ourselves and prove to the world that we can. For some reason, we’re either afraid or too proud to ask for help or guidance. However, doing everything alone can also hinder our success, and oftentimes even lead us to failure – with no one to tell us where we’re headed. As you can see, many times, two will be better than one. Give the buddy system a try! And, if nothing else, you could just make some great friends and connections in the process – they can always be a beacon of light. 🙂