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Is Your New-Year’s Resolution Useless?

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As the new year approaches most of us have decided on, or are thinking about, a New Year’s resolution. Being carried away in my thoughts earlier today, it suddenly dawned on me: why do we have New Year’s resolutions, anyway? I mean, most of the time, let’s face it; we don’t exactly follow through. Time and time again I see myself, and others, fail miserably before the end of January to attain the infamous purpose that we had so excitedly set forth. Nevertheless, I did brainstorm a few reasons why having a New Year’s resolution is actually pretty beneficial, whether you’re able to achieve your goal or not.

  1. Everyone likes purpose.

    One thing that I know for sure is that having goals in life is essential for your overall wellbeing – it gives us a sense of purpose and meaning. Having goals, such as a New Year’s resolution, to work towards gives us the intrinsic motivation that otherwise we may not always find elsewhere. Although sometimes hard to achieve, and oftentimes we may fail to achieve the desired end result from these, we shouldn’t be too quick to overlook the inevitable impacts that come simply  as a side-effect of pursuing a goal. Whether your goal this year is to start a business, or to just be able to get out of bed before noon, goals are important no matter how big or small. 🙂

    Tip: if you’re having a hard time achieving your New Year’s resolution, try examining what your goals are. If you have too many of them, it can be overwhelming and will ultimately cause you lose focus on what should be your priority. Try listing all of your goals on paper, pick the top three that are most important, and focus solely on those instead. This will give you a greater chance of success.

  2. Adulting like a rock-star.

    What’s another great side-effect of setting goals? It forces you to be responsible. Of course, this will depend on how committed you are to your goals. Nevertheless, it is a great way to make you feel like you are awesome at being an adult :). I personally miss the time when I was 7 years old and had no idea where money came from. I remember asking my mom: “Where do you get money? Is it like a building where you go and they just give it to you?” Good times… Then, of course, I came to a rude awakening when I found out that people don’t just “hand” you money. Point is, we don’t always like living the responsible adult life, yet when we have goals, being responsible becomes a little easier and more habitual.

    Tip #1: One way to spark the responsibility side-effect is to set a time line for your goals. Want to lose/gain 10 pounds? What’s a reasonable timeline for accomplishing this? Or maybe you want to write a book; how many chapters or paragraphs would you like to have completed in a month? And so on, and so on.

    Tip #2    :  Unless you’re incredibly disciplined, it may be hard to achieve your goal without some accountability. Find someone you trust to hold you accountable for your goals. This way, if you start to slack off, you’ll have someone to encourage you to keep going.

  3. More to come.

    Another awesome goal side-effect is that while we are pursuing goals we become hopeful. Hope is that thing that gives any human being motivation to do one thing: keep moving forward. Think about it; if you had no hope for anything lying ahead, what would be the point of doing anything towards your future? When you pursue your goals, you are being hopeful that you can achieve it, and a good result will come out of it – this is why you set it in motion in the first place.

    Tip #1: If you’re having a hard time having any hope of achieving your goals, what you might want to do is take some time to focus on the end result (although being careful not to dwell on it – remember that you also get lots of small victories in the process). If you can picture yourself at the end of it all, and remember why you wanted to do this in the first place, it can motivate you to keep working – one step at a time.

    Tip #2    : To pick up on that first tip – take it one step at a time. Celebrate the small victories! So maybe you haven’t started your business yet, but perhaps you’ve made some great connections in the process. Or maybe you haven’t written a book, but you’ve written a few paragraphs and placed your heart on paper, letting yourself know you can do it – that’s a start!

  4. I can only get better.

    What else can we get out of having goals? We learn a lot about ourselves in the process. We learn what makes us tick, what doesn’t, what works for us, and what harms us. Anytime you take the initiative to work towards anything, it brings within itself an opportunity to learn. (For example, I have learned that no matter how hard I try or what I try, I am not a morning person… at all). No matter what the end result is, whether you succeed or fail, there is no doubt that you will learn things about yourself you might have not known before. And as you know – Knowledge is power!

    Tip    : This will probably sound repetitive and cliché, but it is so true. If you’ve failed at achieving your goal, this failure is simply a lesson to be learned. When you fail, you learn about the things that did not work for you. Use this knowledge to improve yourself rather than to self-criticize.

     

  5. Time to straighten up.

    Lastly, as Jim Rohn put it, “Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.” When you are committed to your goals, the inevitable happens: self-discipline. A “goal” is something you have not achieved before, that you are willing to work towards; a desired result in your life. Working towards your goals will require you to do things that you may have never done before, forcing you to create new habits and commit to these – and this is a great thing! When you create self-discipline, it is a trait that stays with you past the desired achieved (or failed) result. So, regardless of the outcome, remember that the process of this very same pursuit will only benefit you in the end.

    Tip: If at first you don’t succeed, you can dust it off and try again! Don’t forget that there is always next year. 🙂

*All images/comics used in this blog were obtained from Unearthed Comics*

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By Nayadee Wilson

Getting Your Mojo Back After The Holidays

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Even as I write this I am struggling to keep my focus and motivation. What others would call “writer’s block,” I am calling procrastination. To be fair, I believe that this is simply the effect from a cause that we all know too well: the “After-Holiday Blues” (I think I just made that name up, but you get my drift). There is no doubt that returning to work after the freedom of the holidays is hard; the heavy thought of “I don’t feel like going to work today” fills our mind like an ugly plague. To get out of the wishing-for-a-never-ending-holiday stage, here are some ideas that may help in getting your mojo back and start up some motivation.

Music heals all.

One thing you may want to try is playing some cheery music (quietly, if allowed) while you’re working. Music has the amazing effect of altering the way we feel. Playing music while you work will make you feel happier, and in turn, more productive and motivated to work. I, for example, like to listen to talk shows while I work – not necessarily “music,” I know, but it is something that soothes me and makes me feel good. When I don’t have my talk shows on, I love to listen to upbeat songs and have my own little party – you could do the same 🙂 . Additionally, if you wanted to keep the holiday season going in your own way, go ahead and play songs like “Sleigh Ride” (one of my favorites) over and over until you’re satisfied – whatever makes you happy! Whether cheery music means sad country songs or super upbeat Christmas songs, choose whatever works for you; get working while enjoying the beat.

Something nice to have.

I am always like a little kid on a sugar rush any time I have anything new – it could be something as simple as a nice pen (I do love nice pens *_*). If you’ve received something nice during the holidays and you can bring it to work, go ahead and take that with you. Having something nice to look at, especially something you really enjoy, will make you feel more at home and boost your mood. I’d recommend even getting some nice office supplies of your own (or something related to the job that you do) so that you’re motivated to use it. New things are always exciting! These can range from really cool mouse pads, to awesome pens, a fancy calculator, or even just a plant for your desk or a new picture for your screen background. Today, for me, my nice thing to have was a really nice sweater that I got over the holidays. I feel pretty and uplifted, and that is what counts! 🙂 Of course, not everyone has the same likes/dislikes, just make sure that you find something that makes you feel inspired and bring it with you – whatever that may be.

There is always a first step.

This blog is a prime example of the power of this tip. I was not initially motivated to start this, but without thinking I just opened up Word Document and started writing – now here we have a blog. Every job or task that you have needs to start somewhere, and all you have to do is take that first step. Chances are that once you get started on your task, you will gain momentum and follow through with the project; even if it is just for that day (then you have to take that first step again, the next day). Usually the first step is always the hardest to take, but, in most cases, it will always be the most simple. You will quickly find that just a few minutes after taking that step, you’ve actually already made some great progress. 🙂

We can be merry all year round.

I know there are times in which we all wish for longer breaks, but what fun would that be? After all, our breaks serve as great satisfaction after a job well done. Although some may be wishing for the holiday season to just be over with, most of us can agree that, even so, coming back to work can be mentally challenging. At least now you know that there is no need to fret, and you can easily get your groove back in the workplace. Just because the holiday season is over doesn’t mean that you can’t carry it on in your own way, if you wanted to. For this New Year, remember to stay merry, and never stop showcasing the best of your talents – that is what you are there to do!

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By Nayadee Wilson

 

 

 

Feeling Overwhelmed? End the Haunting of Stress in the Workplace.

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I saw a post from a friend earlier this morning that read “stress can kill you.” And it is, indeed, a very scary thing – it would make a great Halloween costume! Stress in the workplace is such a common phenomenon, that it is no wonder there are hundreds of articles discussing the topic and offering advice on how to deal with it. After all, according to the American Psychological Association’s annual “Stress in America Survey,” a whopping 65% of Americans referred to work as a top source of stress in 2012, and in 2015 money and work still remained the top two causes of significant stress. Although I have found most articles helpful, I can’t help but notice that most of these tend to emphasize solely on stress emerging from work situations or the work environment. However, sometimes stress comes from other sources that don’t necessarily relate to our work experiences. So I’ve decided to break down the sources of stress in the workplace into three categories: Stress from home, Stress from work, and Stress within you.

My personal life is falling apart.

So maybe your job is great (yay!); maybe you love what you do and can’t truly complain about the work itself. However, even though we’ve often heard the phrase “don’t take your work home with you,” what happens when home comes to work? And yes, I know a lot of us have probably also heard the phrase “leave your personal life at home,” but that’s not always so easy, is it? Sometimes life happens, and you can’t help but stress about it all day long. Here are two steps that have helped me, and may help you as well. 🙂

  1. Get real – One of the first things to do in this situation is to grab a hold of reality, and understand that your troubles from home cannot be solved while at work. It sounds harsh, I know, but a firm grasp on the reality that worrying about your personal difficulties will not take you any closer to solving them, will help you place these worries aside and help you regain focus on work (for the time being). If it truly is an overwhelming event, you’re better off taking a personal day to work through it, and come back to work when you feel refreshed. Nonetheless, if you’re already at work and you’re having a tough time setting these worries aside, here is something I like to ponder on when I start to worry: “Can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” In other words, can you gain anything extra in life by worrying? Not likely. What do you gain by worrying? Stress.
  2. Get to work – Once you leave work, get to work on solving your problem. Home-stress factors can be a lot of different things for different people. One of the most popular is usually financial troubles; are you in debt or is there an income problem? In this case, get to work and start to handle your finances wisely; take the time to develop a plan of action. It could also be marital/relationship problems, family illness, or even a more serious event like a death in the family. If this is the case, remember that there is no shame in getting help. Professional assistance is always available to help you cope with this kind of stress, as well as a trusted friend or relative you can rely on. When you make time in your personal life to resolve these issues in a healthy way, it leaves room for focus and dedication in the workplace. If you don’t, then you will most likely feel obliged to spend time thinking about these issues, as you have not dedicated any time to solve them elsewhere.

I hate my job.

Alright, so maybe you do hate your job. Maybe you are feeling undervalued, unappreciated, and unfairly treated. 😦 Perhaps your boss/supervisor is not the kindest, or perhaps your work environment is a toxic one. Regardless of the reason, it is never healthy for anyone – you or the company – to feel miserable at work. Here are some things to keep in mind.

  1. Be rational – A great thing to keep a handle on is the proper perspective; is this all in my head? One way to reflect rationally and see a situation from the outside-in, is by writing an email or note of what happened and how you’re feeling, not sending it, and reading it over to yourself (I will emphasize, do not send your angry email to your co-worker/supervisor/boss/customer – it never remedies anything, trust me 😦 ). Not only will this exercise help you re-evaluate a situation, it also serves as kind of a “woo-saah” type of healing. Reading it over will make you ask relevant questions like “am I overreacting? Is this the right thing to say? Are these the proper words to use? What could have been done differently?” etc. Additionally, it might be a good idea to save these emails for yourself and keep track of what your triggers are; i.e. what “ticks you off.” You can then transform your quick reaction to these kinds of situations into a wise and appropriate action in the future.
  2. Have boundaries – Although a great success, technology has also been our downfall. I know there are times in which we feel we have to be the “Yes-man” and be available 24/7, because why wouldn’t we be? It’s our job, right? Not exactly. Of course, there are many responsibilities that come with your job title, but there are also times in which you can say “No,” and your boss will understand. When my husband first accepted his current job, it was a great career opportunity for him and he was very excited. However, he was starting to constantly check his emails while being at home, which made it difficult for him to be a part of the family, and caused both him and the family a great deal of stress. Once he established the boundary between home and work, everyone was a lot happier. 🙂 Of course, by “everyone” I mean me; if mom is not happy, then no one is happy 😉 . But, with my attempted jokes aside, it is needless to say that placing boundaries is healthy and acceptable.
  3. Have communication – We all wish that our peers would just know when something would not sit quite well with us. Unfortunately, none of us are mind readers and we all think differently, therefore communication is needed. You may want to try simply speaking to your boss about your level of stress. By “speaking,” I cannot stress enough that this does not mean “complain.” It means discussing how you are feeling and asking what you can do to improve the situation, or how can you work together to come to a healthy and adequate solution. If you are with a good company, you can rest assured that you will be helped and encouraged – some companies even have programs that offer professional help if you need it. If you are, however, within a toxic work environment in which your concerns are not properly addressed, then you can feel at peace by making the decision to take your talents elsewhere. Being constantly stressed will contribute to short temper, anxiety, and many more health issues that will significantly impact your productivity on the job. To give a quick summary of my experience, when I worked for a previous company some time ago, I experienced all of these symptoms, which caused me to lose the quality of my once acclaimed, and even rewarded, customer service skills. This particular company was an incredibly toxic one, and although I did stress about what I would do once I left, it was the best decision I ever made. If this is the case, a great tool to use in your new job search is a staffing agency – they are wonderful and there to help! Not to mention today I work for one of the best, and could not love my job any more if I tried. 😉

I can choose to be happy.

Last, but certainly not least, is my favorite topic of almost every article/study I’ve read on managing stress: managing yourself. This was the one thing that all of my research had in common, which I will completely agree with. Many times we think that happiness is an effect of our circumstance, therefore making it a strictly dependent emotion. However, happiness is not so much an emotion reliant on context, but an action that will ultimately affect how we feel. Take talking to yourself, for example; if you constantly feed yourself negative words, your natural reaction will be to feel bad about yourself. Yet, if you choose to feed yourself uplifting words, your natural reaction will be to feel uplifted. The choice between being happy and miserable can have a huge impact on your stress level. After all, stress itself is not so much what happens around us, but more so how we perceive our circumstances. Try it out for yourself; make the choice to be happy for a whole day, and see how you feel.

  1. Stop comparing – As I came across an article discussing work tension, I loved how they phrased this idea as “leave the Joneses alone.” When you start to feel bad about yourself or how your life is going, it could be because you are comparing yourself to someone else. Your experiences will never be someone else’s, so you should focus on the accomplishments you have made, the goals you’re running towards (or the ones you need to start working on), and the joys you’ve experienced. You should also remember that what you see from people around you on the outside is not always a clear representation of what lies on the inside. We all have our struggles, and we all have amazing successes. Focus on the latter.
  2. Get some hobbies – Don’t forget to treat yourself. When you make time for the things you love, it will help you tremendously in reducing stress. It is important that you disconnect from the world for a while, and reconnect with the things that make you “tick.” If you’re not sure what you would enjoy or you don’t have any hobbies, try out some new things – or simply have a “me-day” where you can take naps if that’s what you’re into. Whatever it may be, take the time to do things that will uplift you and create positive experiences in your life.
  3. Be spiritual – This one surprises some, but being spiritual will actually help a great deal with removing stress. The American Psychological Association advises that you take the time to relax, and calls it “a state in which you actively observe experiences and thoughts without judging them.” For me, personally, prayer works wonders; my days are a million times better when I start off with a prayer and thanksgiving. Nevertheless, if that’s not your thing you may want to look into something like yoga, or meditation. Making the choice to relax, to be thankful, and to focus on positive things will automatically set up your mind and body for positive outcomes throughout your day, making it hard to see the negative side to many situations.

In Conclusion

Remember to not freak out! Although these tips were the ones I found to be most helpful, a lot of what I have written comes from my own personal experiences as well – the lessons I’ve learned the hard way, and the ones I’ve learned from studying. The truth is that there are many ways in which you can manage your stress level and take control of it, so don’t make my mistake; try to learn these tips ahead of time before you explode! >_<

Make sure that you take care of yourself, eat healthy (which I didn’t dive into, but taking care of yourself physically will also affect how you feel emotionally), find some hobbies, and ask for help when you need it. Most importantly, remember that whether at work or at home, when you feel stressed you do not have to go through it by yourself; remember that you are not alone. Stress will lead you into deceiving yourself, thinking that there is nothing you can do and that you have no one who can help, and you just want out! Remember that this is a lie. Any great company knows that we are all in this together, and when one member does not function well, the entire company does not function well. Know your worth, don’t fight it alone, and be confident that you can kick that Stress-monster’s butt! 🙂

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By Nayadee Wilson

Stop Slacking Off: Six Tips to Combat Laziness

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There are very few people who could honestly say that they don’t struggle with the issue of laziness. Chances are that, like most of us, you probably struggle with laziness every single day of your life, even if it is just at a slight, given moment. You have also probably read multiple articles and tips about how to be more productive and how to boost your motivation to get going. When discussing the topic with my husband (who is actually one of those unusual breeds that is rarely, ever lazy), he said that we should just get active in order to boost our energy level. However, I have come to find that the reality of laziness seems to be more of a “chicken-or-the-egg” kind of predicament; you are advised to be active so that you can have more energy, but you have no energy to want to be active in the first place – see what I’m saying?

We need to have a more realistic approach on the issue of laziness and tackle it a little more aggressively; tackle it in ways that are actually achievable when your body just keeps telling you to stay comfy. In my experience, here are some of the bullet-proof methods I have come to find work best to get you up and running, despite the urges of wanting to “just chill.”

1. I need to rest.

First things first: there is a big difference between being lazy, and your body just simply not getting enough rest. It will be very difficult to be productive in any way if you do not get a good night’s sleep, so make sure you set this as a priority. A good habit to get into is setting a bedtime for yourself (that’s right – it’s not just for children 😉 ). This will begin to create a healthy habit which will allow you to get the amount of sleep you need. You should also stay away from watching “heavy” television shows (i.e. don’t binge-watch episodes of House that will make you think of every possible disease that could be wrong with you), or having any intense conversations close to your bedtime. The goal is to prepare your brain and body to rest at an appropriate time for you; you don’t want anything that might stimulate it too much right before going to bed.

2. I am so pumped! 

I am going to guess that there might be a slight chance that the first thing you do in the morning after waking up is grab your phone and scroll through social media, news, sports, etc. You’re not alone – I do it, too. However, if you’re finding it tough to break this habit, there is a way for you to make this routine work in your favor. One thing you could do before going to bed is finding a motivational article (or 2, or 3!) that speaks directly to you and your goals, and save it to read it first thing in the morning. Read the quick summary of it at night and the full article in the morning, rather than going directly to your social media as soon as you open your eyes. Getting this kind of motivation early on will boost your desire to work towards your goals, and you will be more likely to be productive throughout your day. One of my favorite articles to read for morning inspiration is the 20 Habits of Eventual Millionaires. This is something that you could read more than once, and it can give you the motivation you need every time. Nonetheless, we are all different, so find the kind of motivation that works for you and get pumped about it every morning! 🙂

3. I have no choice.

This next tip is something that works best on the days you may be off from work, and it never fails for me. What I have started to do on my days off is forcing myself to do a certain task very early in the morning. For example: If I have to schedule a doctor’s appointment, I schedule it at the earliest time I possibly could (granted that I’m getting enough sleep, of course). The idea is that you schedule something you can’t easily get out of, or it would be a great inconvenience if you did. I find that once my task, appointment, etc. is completed, I am awake, energized, and much more able to focus on doing the things I need to do throughout the rest of my day. Since I am not really a work-out type of person, doing this as an alternative forces me to be active very early on and it sets my day up for a good start. Maybe you have that friend that will just not let you get out of working out with him/her if you were to exercise together – definitely make plans to work out with that friend. Whatever the task may be, when you get the chance to schedule these very early errands in your daily routine, take it!

4. I need to eat.

This one is a no-brainer; healthy eating is the energy fuel for your body. I can’t say that I am great at this myself, I struggle a great deal even to just follow little baby steps to eat healthier. However, I notice a great difference in my energy level on the days that I do stick to a healthy menu. A rule of thumb should be to always make sure you eat breakfast, and make sure that it is a healthy one. If you can’t always cook up anything fancy (like most of us), fruits are always a great way to go: apples, papaya, pears, peaches – you name it! Fruits make a great “on-the-go” breakfast and will boost up your energy level (although you should avoid bananas for breakfast, they can make you sleepy :/ ). You should also avoid eating foods that will make you sluggish throughout your day. It is hard for most of us to resist “junk food” on most days, but making these tweaks to your diet will significantly impact your energy level. Check out WebMD’s guide to avoid food that will make you tired if you’re not sure how to get started.

5. “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…”

Another great habit to get into every morning is opening up those curtains and embracing the sunshine! Sunlight wakes us up naturally and signals our body that it is time to get going; if you don’t get enough natural light in the morning, you will most likely feel tired and groggy throughout your day. Although, if you live in Buffalo, NY like I do, chances are that this lovely sunshine will not visit your home very often during our awesome winter months (which seem to be 10 times longer than months in any other place of the world; but that’s ok – we still love our city 🙂 ). So in the event that you’re not necessarily in an “abundant sunshine” kind of place, you can also opt for the alternative: a natural light alarm. These really neat alarms wake you up naturally with a sunrise-like effect, and can be almost just as effective.

6. I am on a roll!

Finally, a great way to escape from the lazy gravitational pull is by gaining momentum. When you think about all of the things that you need to get done in any given day, it can be intimidating, overwhelming, and sometimes even depressing. That being said, when you think about it in terms of small little steps at a time, it is not as dreadful. Try to separate your big to-do’s into smaller tasks and go through these one at a time. Once you do this, you’ll get rolling on everything else that you need to do and you will barely even notice. Every single time I actually do this, I always end up being very productive and working efficiently through my daily duties.

There will always be many other, creative ways in which you can fight the urge to slack off, but hopefully these could help you in the same way they help me. Just keep in mind this great quote from TheEveryGirl.com: “Success is not easy, and it is certainly not for the lazy.” Get off the couch, get going, and be all the success you were meant to be.

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By Nayadee Wilson